Tragically missing my Boo.

Only climbed out of his bed at half nine this morning.

I’m a sad case. And he’s tall, dark and handsome.

Puppy is not amused.

Gross.

Just got done making these cupcakes for my best friend’s birthday.

Because safety is the bestest gift of all.

We’re such douchelords.

Been trying to find a .gif of this everywhere.

Freja Beha is the woman of my dreams. I want to marry her and kiss her and I bet she owns a gun. I bet she does. I’d be such a good house wife. I’d make her sandwiches before she went to work every day. And I’d draw a love heart on the bag. And I’d watch her play poker and smoke cigars, and drive trucks.

UNF

This is true. Good advice I was given once. Never act on an idea you have at four am. If it seems like a good idea in the morning, then it probably is.

I wish I had a dick so I could slam it in a door, just so I knew what it felt like to slam my dick in the door.

Then I’d go back to have a vagina again.

I don’t know why I wanted my hair to be blonde, but I did and it is.

Yeah?